First of all, let me clarify that when I say settling down, I mean settling down to a life routine and not the whole finding the right person to spend my life with and spending our whole lives together meaning. If you thought I was referring to the latter, you are dead on mistaken because Im still too young for that stuff and there's also the fact that I have no 'candidates' in my life...... OR DO I? Thats another post for the future, huhu.
I digress, so back to the matter at hand. What's in my head you ask, well the reason why the title of this post is as so is because, I cant seem to settle down into the life of University! I feel bored that Im confined to the life of classes and books. I think its just a phase in my life that I feel discontent with whatever I have. No matter how much it dawns upon me that Im in university to get an education and books and classes are just the norm that comes with it but I just cant seem to shake this feeling of dissatisfaction.
I hear people telling me that university is probably the best time in ones life and that we should really enjoy it to the fullest; exploring our capabilities and shortcomings by engaging ourselves in all that it has to offer. Thinking back over that statement, I ask myself whether am I making full use of my so called 'best time of my life' term? I myself dont know. Well there's no gauge to actually measure this which makes it even harder to evaluate. The ending of this semester marks the end of my second year here which means that half of my time here has pass. Thinking back, I could always extend another year just to get more out of uni, but thats out of the question. We've all got to move on in our life and university life is just one segment in our whole life and be that as it may, the best time in our life but everything has to end. Knowing it will eventually come to an end and I've only got 2 years left makes me wonder if what I've done so far was gratifying?
What are my emotions? A little bit of everything I would say. Happy that I've come to know many awesome people Im proud to now call my friends. Sad that there are those simple minded people who shun me because of difference. Angry that not everything went as I would have liked it to go. Regret that I could have done things better than I've did. Hardship from all thats done. Confused whether as to I chose the right path in life. Fearful of the future that lies ahead of me. Why am I so theological in this post, I also have no idea. The stress of upcoming exams together with the feeling of homesickness could be one of the reasons.
I know I left many question unanswered but believe me, I'll would gladly answer them if only I knew. Now Im feeling so emo, at the bright side at least I have the look to go with it. Haha. Until my next post